How to Ask Your Friends for Money
Asking friends or relatives for money may not involve the formal steps required when you take out a personal loan or apply for a credit card, but it comes with its own set of obstacles and complications.
For starters, we don’t want our friends to perceive us as needy and broke. We fear that asking them for financial help could negatively affect the opinion that they have of us. It may also feel awkward to do something we are never done before, and we fear that our friends may lose their trust in us, which could damage a precious personal relationship.
Fortunately, these tips on how to ask your friends for money will help you deal with this situation without putting your friendship at risk.
#1 Being Respectful is Crucial
Money is a sensitive subject, and our attitude when asking friends for assistance can make a lot of difference.
Respect is a crucial prerequisite when starting a conversation on borrowing money with your friends. You should never assume your friend is supposed to do you a favor. Coming across with an entitled attitude will not only hurt your chances of your friend agreeing to lend you money, but it may also create unnecessary tensions and damage the relationship.
Start the conversation by mentioning how much you appreciate being their friend, which is why you feel comfortable enough to ask them for help. Tell them right away that you would understand if they are currently not in a position to lend you money.
We know that you may think of these as just small details. However, they can really impact how your friends will perceive your request.
#2 Explain the Reasons Why You Need the Loan
You should consider asking your friends for money only when you are in real need of financial assistance.
Imagine the following scenario. Your car got broken, and you don’t have enough money to cover the repair costs. On top of that, you live far from your workplace, and there’s no way you can get there with public transportation.
Or think of a scenario in which you need money to cover important medical bills.
If your friends understand that you are truly in a tough financial situation and would face serious difficulties without a loan, they will be much more willing to lend you the money.
#3 Explain That You Have Already Tried all Other Alternatives
Asking for money from your friend should really be the last resort. If you have already tried without success to take out a loan or ask for money from your relatives, you should ensure your friends know that.
This will tell them you’re not trying to take advantage of your friendships and have already exhausted all available options, which will increase the chances they will empathize with your situation and agree to lend you money, or at least part of it.
#4 Give Your Word You Will Pay Back with an Interest or Offer Something Else in Return
It’s important to clarify from the start that you are not asking your friend for a handout. Even if your friend offers you the money as a gift, it’s still a good idea to refuse and tell them that you prefer repaying the money in the future. This will show them that you take the situation seriously, and it will reduce any future misunderstandings.
Alternatively, you could offer your friend something else in return, like doing some work for them or helping them out with some activity that could be completed faster by two people rather than one. This option is typically the best one when you’re uncertain about your ability to pay back the loan quickly.
#5 Have a Plan in Place on How You Are Going to Pay Your Friend Back
Even though your friends are not a bank and paying them back is not a legal obligation, taking your repayment terms and duties seriously will show your friends they can trust you and even reinforce your current bond.
Make repaying your friend one of your budgeting goals, and set aside a small sum each month. You can set a gradual repayment schedule or give your friend the money back in one payment.
#6 Give Your Friends Enough Time to Consider Your Offer
Your friends may not always come up with an answer right away.
They may have several reasons for asking you to wait until they give you their final answer. They may be going through uncertain economic times themselves, or they may be saving for a goal, and lending you money would considerably slow them down.
Don’t show disappointment if your friend asks you to wait. As a matter of fact, you should tell them you are grateful for considering your request and that you understand why they need some time to think about it.
Avoid putting any pressure on your friends. Giving them enough time to consider your request will actually increase the chances of a positive outcome.
#7 Don’t Show Disappointment or Anger if Your Friend Tells You No
As we already mentioned, your friends don’t have any moral obligation to give you financial support, and a rejection is not something you can rule out.
They may simply not have any extra money, or they may be saving for their own financial goals. Lending money may simply not be feasible for them at the moment.
It’s crucial not to react negatively when this happens. Replying with a disappointed, angry, or emotional tone may create tension and harm your relationship. They may think that you only value a friendship with them because you planned to get something in return.
Show that you perfectly understand and that they don’t have to worry about it. Maybe ask them for financial advice on how to solve your current issues. They may actually provide you with some great ideas and help you make better financial decisions.
Moreover, you probably have more than one friend or family member you can ask, and you may have to try with 3 or 4 of them before getting a positive response.